thoughts accumulated over the week
This past week hasn't been the greatest. I suppose it started off alright, but it hasn't really ended very well. I feel... lonely. I'm not, I realize this; however, I feel I am. I think everyone know what I'm talking about. Ever just feel alone in the world? Not a soul to talk to... and if there are, I feel very distant and detached from them.
My week started off tiring. I had to do something the night before that ended up taking up much of my sleep time. I don't remember what I was doing, it feels like years ago. So I showed up to class late probably. Actually, I don't remember if I went to class that day or not... in any case, I posted last on that day. I went to work as usual... which I have not enjoyed these past few weeks. I've since learned that I won't be going home, which doesn't bother me all that much really... honestly, I don't feel like I want to go home. I'm not sure where I want to go, but it's not home.
Lately, there's been a thought running through my head that's telling me I'm not good enough. Nothing else really. I don't think I am either. In any topic. Good enough. Maybe that's why I feel lonely. In any case, that's why I'm updating. There's no one else I feel I can talk to, so I'm pouring it out here. I haven't talked to zay in awhile, but that's mostly cuz I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me, so I haven't called her. There's not much for me to talk about anyway. I don't have time for anything. I don't have a life and it's taxing.
I'm definitely burned out and I need a long holiday or I feel like I'll just snap. But enough people have already taken off of work and I have a stipulation to be able to take off... which I won't be able to do. So that's that. I'm stuck here working and have no one to talk to. So I'm typing on this computer... yeah... this is sad.
My week started off tiring. I had to do something the night before that ended up taking up much of my sleep time. I don't remember what I was doing, it feels like years ago. So I showed up to class late probably. Actually, I don't remember if I went to class that day or not... in any case, I posted last on that day. I went to work as usual... which I have not enjoyed these past few weeks. I've since learned that I won't be going home, which doesn't bother me all that much really... honestly, I don't feel like I want to go home. I'm not sure where I want to go, but it's not home.
Lately, there's been a thought running through my head that's telling me I'm not good enough. Nothing else really. I don't think I am either. In any topic. Good enough. Maybe that's why I feel lonely. In any case, that's why I'm updating. There's no one else I feel I can talk to, so I'm pouring it out here. I haven't talked to zay in awhile, but that's mostly cuz I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me, so I haven't called her. There's not much for me to talk about anyway. I don't have time for anything. I don't have a life and it's taxing.
I'm definitely burned out and I need a long holiday or I feel like I'll just snap. But enough people have already taken off of work and I have a stipulation to be able to take off... which I won't be able to do. So that's that. I'm stuck here working and have no one to talk to. So I'm typing on this computer... yeah... this is sad.
posted by peak @ 23:06
2 Comments:
all those feelings you're experiencing are from Satan. he has you exactly where he wants you. doubts are his favorite way to attack and you just have to fight him off. just tell him outloud to go away when those thoughts keep creeping in. it may sound silly, but i am 1000% serious. pray. talk to God. tell Him what you're feeling b/c He's the only one who can truly heal you. we look to other things to make us feel better, but only God can has the answer. His is Life.
Funny how we both got this same feeling right now. Had it for a long time, but never was sure if I wanted to write it down till now. It only opens a small part of me when i posted. For me it's much deeper than anything. But i know it's not much of the past that creates this feeling. I guess anonymous is right...Satan is haunting the steps i take. We all have to battle it in our own way. But anyways hope you'll be able to find some time off... I know i can't because i just started my job but it's just gonna get worse once school starts up. Best wishes home boy.
"No matter how cold the winter,.. there's a springtime ahead"
~pearl jam
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